Saturday, January 12, 2013

What happened to treats?

If you listen to diet programs advertising, they always preach how you can eat AAANNNYYTTTHHHIINNNGG you want. Full Metal Jacket? Anyone? If you eat your daily donuts in moderation or your candy bars or your sod-y pop then you will still lose weight. Have your cake baby!

This may be true for some but not for me. I'm an addict. It sounds dramatic but it's my truth. I feel out of control most of the time. Prior to this, I have eaten sugar all day long. Breakfast was usually a grande, caramel macchiato with whip and 2 cake pops or two donuts from Dunkin Donuts. A snack for me was a coke and an ice cream sundae. And I would eat multiple snacks. I have been dieting for 12 days and already that sounds ridiculous to me.

The truth is, I can't eat sweets and not obsess daily about my next sweet. They take hold of my brain and my mood and control my every thought.

The truth is, diet companies are lying and I frankly think they know it. A healthy person doesn't eat sugar everyday. That person may lose weight but they are not healthy. It was a treat you say?! You just celebrated the fact that it is 2:15 in the afternoon.

I told myself that I would commit to a month without sweets to break the habit and then slowly introduce them again. The past week I have craved badly and started to justify. I could be an attorney with my arguements to myself.

I've done soooo well. It is Friday. Just a little coke. This snack has the SAME calories as a coke, why not just drink that? It is a student's birthday, just one cupcake. I have the calories. I've done so well. It's calories in, calories out. It doesn't matter what you eat.

And then I realize, a cupcake still owns me. Ice cream still tells me what to do. I am NOT in control yet. It may not be a month until I have a treat. It may be longer. And that is ok. The difference between me and the me of two weeks ago is that I would have listened to it and indulged before even realizing my actions. Many times I have been caught with full cheeks before even realizing....I just did that. I just ate an 800 calorie cupcake and I can't take that back.

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