I'm still at it. Dieting. Losing. Gaining. Winning. Losing. Failing. All of it. I went back and read my past few previous posts and I just want to hug me. If I read of another weight loss blogger who struggled as much as I do, I would want to hug them and just cry with them. This is a devastating process. I feel defeated. The hard part: I'm really awesome. And strong. And smart. And would be a freakin' knockout if I lost the weight.
I have spent the last few days looking at really great weight loss blogs and I have found such incredible people out there. Successful, amazing, and inspirational people and I realize that even though I feel so alone this minute, I'm not. So many people have been right where I am and have succeeded. So many are right there with me now. I said a few posts back that I want you to capture my entire journey. So many of the amazing bloggers I have found were a good way into their journey when they began sharing. I get it but I'm always in search of that moment when you drove by the McDonald's and you were thinking about ordering a Big Mac combo and you sat there justifying it to yourself. Finally, you just drove off because it wasn't worth it and you kept up your journey every friggin' day after that. Well, what the hell did you say to yourself? That's what I need to read so that's what I want to write for you.
So, the update. Since my last juicing post (which I seriously want to delete because it is kind of embarrassing), I have tried juicing 3 different times, counting calories once and have now been back at Weight Watchers for the past few days. Yes. I'm aware. It's been like a month. Not to mention that those in between days were ugly, indulgent, sad binges. Can I getta BEEN THERE?
I'm a teacher on summer vacation. I tell myself, this is IT. THE. SUMMER. I lose like 80 pounds! Well, realistically, it's almost more challenging because I'm lacking structure. I wake up when I wake up. My meal times are off. I'm not eating food in front of people which makes me hide justifications easily. I decided that I needed some accountability and structure for a little bit. I don't know if WW is going to be the silver bullet or not. I like counting calories a lot. It is always a favorite but I feel like I need just a bit more.
Stay tuned. I'll be back to talk much more often.
