So, I'm losing motivation faster than weight! I'm on Day 17 of the journey. Everything in life is happening RIGHT NOW. I have super anxiety in both work life and personal life which is making me want to eat a Otis Spunkmeyer factory. Last Friday I made my roommate drive to a cupcake shop called Gigi's, she bought one and I almost broke into tears trying to decide if I wanted one. Instead I ate a bite of her's. So, I ate out both Friday and Saturday night which skyrocketed my points super high. And to further whine, I haven't worked out in a week and I broke down and had a Gigi's cupcake last night. In tears. We're talkin' this thing is like what I can eat in a day. So, overall...boo, hate life. Wanting to throw in the towel but that isn't going to make anyone thinner or happier.
On to Day 18.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
F My Life
For the most part, I don't hate life. Really I don't. BUT when you throw at me:
1. my students bombing a standardized test that reflects my teaching
2. terrible cravings and moodiness
3. wanting to eat an entire cake
4. my boyfriend saying about the wrongest thing he could have possibly said
5. me losing my debit card
I'm not going to have a sunny disposition.
I'm still effing on plan even though I REALLY don't want to be. I want CAKE. I want ICE CREAM.
Problem: I don't want to be fat for the rest of my life AND I've worked WAY too hard for this. Damn.
1. my students bombing a standardized test that reflects my teaching
2. terrible cravings and moodiness
3. wanting to eat an entire cake
4. my boyfriend saying about the wrongest thing he could have possibly said
5. me losing my debit card
I'm not going to have a sunny disposition.
I'm still effing on plan even though I REALLY don't want to be. I want CAKE. I want ICE CREAM.
Problem: I don't want to be fat for the rest of my life AND I've worked WAY too hard for this. Damn.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
A Loss is a Loss is a Loss
So I had my first weigh-in today. I would like to preface this post with the statement: I BUSTED MY TAIL THIS WEEK! I lost 2.2 lbs. Not impressed. I expected to lose you know 5lbs of water weight. This freaks me out because is it that I didn't HAVE water weight OR I didn't lose fat. *Pout* Everytime I have ever started a new weight loss plan, I have lost like 6lbs the first week. Sadness.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Emo Eating
Buy me skinny jeans and call me the 5th member of Weezer because I'm fighting the urge to emo eat.
I had a friend call me and pretty much ream me out over something trivial. This is becoming more common and I feel like I am starting to walk on eggshells around this friend. Rule of Life #82, don't surround yourself by people you walk on eggshells around because it is draining and does NOT benefit your life.
So, after I get off the phone with said friend, I pass Bruster's Ice Cream and Gigi's Cupcakes. I'm sitting here thinking about all of the candy I want to eat AFTER I stop at both of these places and eat the menu!
Instead, I started thinking BULL. I'm am NOT letting this ONE friend reverse all of the work I have done. Why would I give someone power over me? What is sad is that we know that we ALL do it! A guy cuts us off on the road and we eat Phish Food over it.
So here's to stickin to it and having less friends!
I had a friend call me and pretty much ream me out over something trivial. This is becoming more common and I feel like I am starting to walk on eggshells around this friend. Rule of Life #82, don't surround yourself by people you walk on eggshells around because it is draining and does NOT benefit your life.
So, after I get off the phone with said friend, I pass Bruster's Ice Cream and Gigi's Cupcakes. I'm sitting here thinking about all of the candy I want to eat AFTER I stop at both of these places and eat the menu!
Instead, I started thinking BULL. I'm am NOT letting this ONE friend reverse all of the work I have done. Why would I give someone power over me? What is sad is that we know that we ALL do it! A guy cuts us off on the road and we eat Phish Food over it.
So here's to stickin to it and having less friends!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Day One, Take THAT!
SUCK-CESS!!!
Yesterday was day one.....you know of the rest of my life and such. I had a successful day in my eyes.
Went to the gym and worked out on the elliptical for 30 minutes WITHOUT STOPPING!! (Hey. It has been a while. Stop judging me.)
I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting. I am allotted 29 points a day and I am now OBSESSED with etools because it is the Facebook of fat people. LOVE IT.
So, here is my dilemma. I won't call it a dilemma. Here is my conundrum. One of my biggest weaknesses is eating out with my boyfriend on Friday and Saturday nights. We like eating out and we like food A LOT. So, about 3 1/2 restaurants in town HAVE nutritional information. I do not like 2 of them. Problem. Here is my solution. (It's good.) If I save like 5 points a day then on Friday I can have a "normal" meal. Now I won't be able to have like the uber BBQ cheeseburger,(I miss you already.) but I can have a sirloin with a sweet potato and salad. NATURALLY, I will do my best to track it but I do not have to feel guilty because I was SAVING. Like if REALLY wanted a Louis Vuitton purse for $1000. I can SAVE $200 per month and then I can HAVE it. Do know, I do not LIKE to cash in my flexible 35 or my activity. It just bothers me. Now if this does not work well on the first week, I will assess and reevaluate.
Next order of business. Or a topic I like to call, WTF!
This morning I woke up quite early. I'm on Spring Break so I think it is sacreligious as well. So I decided to go to the gym as I have a busy day ahead of me. OH. Lucky for me, a spinning class was JUST about to start and I LOVE spinning! So, I head on in and get started. I have taken spinning at this gym with several different instructors and at about the 35-40 minute mark, we hop off the bike and start stretching. So, at 50 minutes, seven other ladies and I were thinking &*%*# IS THIS??
Throughout those last 20 minutes, I was incredibly angry and talking to myself in my head. The conversation went something like this:
Pissed Me: You don't JUST KEEP going. It is supposed to be a 35-45 minute class. You WARN the class.
WW Me: What? You can't handle to keep going??
Pissed Me: I didn't SAY that. I just said, you give some warning! What if I had shit to do?
WW Me: Do you have shit to do?
Pissed Me: No.
WW Me: You can't stand to burn a few more calories??? You need less exercise?
Pissed Me: I'm not talking to you anymore.
So. WW Me won and I biked for FIFTY FIVE minutes today and I officially hate instructor chick because she ALL made me work out HARDER.
Stay tuned for another successful day!
Yesterday was day one.....you know of the rest of my life and such. I had a successful day in my eyes.
Went to the gym and worked out on the elliptical for 30 minutes WITHOUT STOPPING!! (Hey. It has been a while. Stop judging me.)
I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting. I am allotted 29 points a day and I am now OBSESSED with etools because it is the Facebook of fat people. LOVE IT.
So, here is my dilemma. I won't call it a dilemma. Here is my conundrum. One of my biggest weaknesses is eating out with my boyfriend on Friday and Saturday nights. We like eating out and we like food A LOT. So, about 3 1/2 restaurants in town HAVE nutritional information. I do not like 2 of them. Problem. Here is my solution. (It's good.) If I save like 5 points a day then on Friday I can have a "normal" meal. Now I won't be able to have like the uber BBQ cheeseburger,(I miss you already.) but I can have a sirloin with a sweet potato and salad. NATURALLY, I will do my best to track it but I do not have to feel guilty because I was SAVING. Like if REALLY wanted a Louis Vuitton purse for $1000. I can SAVE $200 per month and then I can HAVE it. Do know, I do not LIKE to cash in my flexible 35 or my activity. It just bothers me. Now if this does not work well on the first week, I will assess and reevaluate.
Next order of business. Or a topic I like to call, WTF!
This morning I woke up quite early. I'm on Spring Break so I think it is sacreligious as well. So I decided to go to the gym as I have a busy day ahead of me. OH. Lucky for me, a spinning class was JUST about to start and I LOVE spinning! So, I head on in and get started. I have taken spinning at this gym with several different instructors and at about the 35-40 minute mark, we hop off the bike and start stretching. So, at 50 minutes, seven other ladies and I were thinking &*%*# IS THIS??
Throughout those last 20 minutes, I was incredibly angry and talking to myself in my head. The conversation went something like this:
Pissed Me: You don't JUST KEEP going. It is supposed to be a 35-45 minute class. You WARN the class.
WW Me: What? You can't handle to keep going??
Pissed Me: I didn't SAY that. I just said, you give some warning! What if I had shit to do?
WW Me: Do you have shit to do?
Pissed Me: No.
WW Me: You can't stand to burn a few more calories??? You need less exercise?
Pissed Me: I'm not talking to you anymore.
So. WW Me won and I biked for FIFTY FIVE minutes today and I officially hate instructor chick because she ALL made me work out HARDER.
Stay tuned for another successful day!
Monday, April 5, 2010
well....not just yet.
I have not quite completed my goal yet. Actually, I started my goal T-1 hour ago BUT if you stick with me, you will see me kickin' off some LB's and be motivated along the way! Or motivate me along the way. Today I joined Weight Watchers online and will attend my first meeting tonight. Now, do not presume I'm a newbie at this. I happen to be a weight loss professional! In fact, I have lost 200 lbs. You know, lose 5, gain 8, lose 3, gain 4. So. I have LOST probably 200 but I have gained 280. Problem? I think so.
This is about the 8th time I have joined Weight Watchers and are you ready for the laundry list of reasons it didn't work?
Here ya go:
1. I couldn't afford the $12 a week membership fee. (got the big girl job now! check!)
2. I couldn't afford healthy food. (see above. check, check!)
3. I wasn't scared that I was going to be a big, fat girl for the rest of my life. (got the fear. check!)
4. I didn't have the time to work-out/plan/care about me. (have the flexibility. check!)
Sooo. No more excuses right??? Well....here we ago. Another Success Story.
This is about the 8th time I have joined Weight Watchers and are you ready for the laundry list of reasons it didn't work?
Here ya go:
1. I couldn't afford the $12 a week membership fee. (got the big girl job now! check!)
2. I couldn't afford healthy food. (see above. check, check!)
3. I wasn't scared that I was going to be a big, fat girl for the rest of my life. (got the fear. check!)
4. I didn't have the time to work-out/plan/care about me. (have the flexibility. check!)
Sooo. No more excuses right??? Well....here we ago. Another Success Story.
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