It Doesn't Get Easier

                                                         borrowed from iheartinspiration
And for those who say so are LIARS. Today was really hard. Probably the hardest. This process really makes me think and overthink my choices. Before, you know, the last 400 times, the weekends were always what ruined it for me. I could make it Monday-about Thursday before I got sick of the planning, sick of the food and sick of being restricted.

When the weekend hit, I was out of my routine. Spending time with my boyfriend and any diet was shot. Binge, binge, binge, start on Monday. Fail by Thursday.

This time, I am still out of my routine but I have really dedicated to sticking to the same foods. My Monday-Friday foods are also Saturday/Sunday foods. Crazy enough.

As easy as that sounds my daily 5 meal pattern is off and because I'm more lethargic on the weekends, food is a lot of what I think about.

One day, it won't be that way.

What is different is that this time I am more dedicated. Today I had a rough moment. No biggie. Just stressful. Immediately I started thinking of all the bad food I could eat. Except I didn't.

I had SEVERAL hours of grad school homework and so badly wanted to sit at Starbucks in a neutral environment and just knock it out. (Remember I'm doing no sugar.) Except what am I going to eat there or order to drink? I know you just thought of a great sugar-free concoction for me but the truth is I hate those things. So I just didn't go. I knew I wasn't strong enough to go and not order my favorites. grande, non-fat, caramel macchiato with whip God bless I miss you.

So, a hard day but a proud day. I can sit here and tell you that I said no and I still have my pride and I made it through day 13.