Hello Dear Friends,
It is Summer and I have been SO ready to get into my groove. I know it has been 6 months since we last spoke but I've thought about you everyday. It has been a great couple of days getting back on track! I have a new goal. I would LOVE to lose 50lbs by November 9th. I'm going to New York City with my new fella and you know what it's like to feel bad about yourself in pictures.
So. I've dedicated to going to the gym Monday-Friday just like it were my job through this summer.
Keep tuned!
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Thursday, December 29, 2011
The Eternal Girl Scout
Gotten myself into a bit of trouble and this is the only safe place to rant about it. I've always had this problem and I'm torn whether or not it is a good thing or bad thing.
Today I was on WW message boards which I frequent. I love them! They always have good ideas and offer encouragement. I don't post a lot. (*cough* it's kind of a pattern of mine) I read almost everyday though. There are several boards to chose from and I usually stick to the 50+ board. I consider myself having between 75-100 pounds to lose but I have just always favored this board. Well, I'm at home today because of break and the board was kind of slow so I started looking at other boards.
I stumbled onto the 100+ board and read several posts. I read on string that 44 people had contributed to. (some repeats I'm sure) It was flat out cyber-bullying. A woman had done a stupid thing that was kind of catty. She apologized profusely for it and they just let her have it. Another apparently infamous woman (among the boards) got involved and was literally cussing out half the board. Of course she was "WW" cussing. Leaving out vowels and such. It was absolutely appalling. So, naturally, because I have an opinion about everything, I said something. My words were along the lines of....wow, ladies. This is sad and catty. People come here for support and encouragement and just, wow.
So, then. My next mistake. (because I don't think) I went to my normal board and said, I really appreciate that everyone here is so friendly and supportive. I just witnessed ladies trashing each other and I appreciate that no one does that here.
Well, I had a LOT of support agreeing with me about other boards being catty and most saying they loved the board as well. WELL. Of course, someone came over to my board from that really tacky conversation and totally trashed me, calling me a tattle tale. Really?
We are grown people. Why are you being a high school bully? Afterwards, she went back to her board and started a post with no other intention but to trash me. Another catty post-er said that she, "told me to blow it out you know where" (we're going to discuss what that means on a later post) at which everybody laughed at. I'm not sure exactly where and when she told me this but she didn't do so in the form of words nor to me.
I expected backlash because they had already shown a lack of class but the worst was receiving backlash from people who just assumed that I had ticked someone off on another board and I was coming to complain about it. I said back on my board's post, "my intentions were to only praise my board and show appreciation for the love and support. I appreciate everyone who understood my intentions and apologize to those who don't. I'm taking my dog out of this fight."
What really just pisses me off is that like an hour later she posted a post pretty much implying that I was insincere and trying to manipulate the board. BIA-you didn't even read the 100+ board. They were literally tearing someone apart until the person said that they weren't coming back anymore. It was NOT APPROPRIATE or OK to talk to someone like that.
So. I did send a quick message to WW just saying that there had been a lot of inappropriate comments on the 100+ board. I don't know what will happen. I'm sure that I'll be blamed and hounded if there are repercussions.
This happens to me. I hate injustice and I hate the weak underdog not fighting for them self. I've always stood up to the "bully" for the underdog and I'm the only one who gets screwed. The other problem is that I honestly surround myself with amazing people. No one in my life is mean or manipulative. (Granted, you cross me and I cut you out of my life faster than a Corleone) I just don't know what is better sometimes. Let it go or continue to fight. It isn't fair for things like that to happen. I'm incredibly naive to hope and fight for a fair world.
So. I'm a pot stirrer. How do you explain to people that you've been blackballed by a bunch of WW members. That was the OTHER part I forgot to tell you. In the "bashing me" post, one person totally said something like, I don't have enough to lose to be around them. It was like Fat Bad Girls Club. Ree-diculous.
Lastly, the biggest problem is that laying down and taking it isn't in my nature. I want to fight. I want to scream and I want to hit below the belt. I want to cuss without vowels, take my earrings off and rumble. I'm am bitter and pissed that people were being asses and now they're bringing it to me. But I can't. Because that's not the woman I want to be. If I bring it, I'm literally as trashy as they are. I genuinely feel sorry for them. These are sad, obese, bitter women and I feel like a lot of this is their source of entertainment. I even stalked one of the super catties just a bit and she has a blog that is something like, The Big Fat Angry Woman. Really? Because, honestly, I'm not angry. I have a lovely life. I have incredible people in my life and I feel very loved. So I can't tell you what for. Because that would encourage you. I don't need negativity in my life.
So. With that being said. It's my year baby. I'm ready for 2012.. I love a fresh start. I'm back on plan and feeling really good.
Today I was on WW message boards which I frequent. I love them! They always have good ideas and offer encouragement. I don't post a lot. (*cough* it's kind of a pattern of mine) I read almost everyday though. There are several boards to chose from and I usually stick to the 50+ board. I consider myself having between 75-100 pounds to lose but I have just always favored this board. Well, I'm at home today because of break and the board was kind of slow so I started looking at other boards.
I stumbled onto the 100+ board and read several posts. I read on string that 44 people had contributed to. (some repeats I'm sure) It was flat out cyber-bullying. A woman had done a stupid thing that was kind of catty. She apologized profusely for it and they just let her have it. Another apparently infamous woman (among the boards) got involved and was literally cussing out half the board. Of course she was "WW" cussing. Leaving out vowels and such. It was absolutely appalling. So, naturally, because I have an opinion about everything, I said something. My words were along the lines of....wow, ladies. This is sad and catty. People come here for support and encouragement and just, wow.
So, then. My next mistake. (because I don't think) I went to my normal board and said, I really appreciate that everyone here is so friendly and supportive. I just witnessed ladies trashing each other and I appreciate that no one does that here.
Well, I had a LOT of support agreeing with me about other boards being catty and most saying they loved the board as well. WELL. Of course, someone came over to my board from that really tacky conversation and totally trashed me, calling me a tattle tale. Really?
We are grown people. Why are you being a high school bully? Afterwards, she went back to her board and started a post with no other intention but to trash me. Another catty post-er said that she, "told me to blow it out you know where" (we're going to discuss what that means on a later post) at which everybody laughed at. I'm not sure exactly where and when she told me this but she didn't do so in the form of words nor to me.
I expected backlash because they had already shown a lack of class but the worst was receiving backlash from people who just assumed that I had ticked someone off on another board and I was coming to complain about it. I said back on my board's post, "my intentions were to only praise my board and show appreciation for the love and support. I appreciate everyone who understood my intentions and apologize to those who don't. I'm taking my dog out of this fight."
What really just pisses me off is that like an hour later she posted a post pretty much implying that I was insincere and trying to manipulate the board. BIA-you didn't even read the 100+ board. They were literally tearing someone apart until the person said that they weren't coming back anymore. It was NOT APPROPRIATE or OK to talk to someone like that.
So. I did send a quick message to WW just saying that there had been a lot of inappropriate comments on the 100+ board. I don't know what will happen. I'm sure that I'll be blamed and hounded if there are repercussions.
This happens to me. I hate injustice and I hate the weak underdog not fighting for them self. I've always stood up to the "bully" for the underdog and I'm the only one who gets screwed. The other problem is that I honestly surround myself with amazing people. No one in my life is mean or manipulative. (Granted, you cross me and I cut you out of my life faster than a Corleone) I just don't know what is better sometimes. Let it go or continue to fight. It isn't fair for things like that to happen. I'm incredibly naive to hope and fight for a fair world.
So. I'm a pot stirrer. How do you explain to people that you've been blackballed by a bunch of WW members. That was the OTHER part I forgot to tell you. In the "bashing me" post, one person totally said something like, I don't have enough to lose to be around them. It was like Fat Bad Girls Club. Ree-diculous.
Lastly, the biggest problem is that laying down and taking it isn't in my nature. I want to fight. I want to scream and I want to hit below the belt. I want to cuss without vowels, take my earrings off and rumble. I'm am bitter and pissed that people were being asses and now they're bringing it to me. But I can't. Because that's not the woman I want to be. If I bring it, I'm literally as trashy as they are. I genuinely feel sorry for them. These are sad, obese, bitter women and I feel like a lot of this is their source of entertainment. I even stalked one of the super catties just a bit and she has a blog that is something like, The Big Fat Angry Woman. Really? Because, honestly, I'm not angry. I have a lovely life. I have incredible people in my life and I feel very loved. So I can't tell you what for. Because that would encourage you. I don't need negativity in my life.
So. With that being said. It's my year baby. I'm ready for 2012.. I love a fresh start. I'm back on plan and feeling really good.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
I Brought It
So. Tonight is a perfect example of how I amaze myself. (hair flip) I sat on the couch for a solid two hours reading about fitness and working out. I still think that's good! It keeps my mind in the right place but also keeps the fat on my fanny. I just have not been up to working out today. I have to go back to work tomorrow after a 5 day break and it is going to be a really hard day. I just wanted to stretch it out as far as possible. So. I sat and pouted. And moaned. And I knew that I would be breaking the very short lived commitment to myself. (I think I told myself like yesterday that I wanted to be active?) I also have learned how much I love working outside and it has rained a solid 36 hours and it's FREEZING. I just wanted to go walk a trail or something and it wasn't an option. This reminded me that I'm about to hit 4 months of crap weather and I can't just not work out.
So...long story short. I did HALF of a P90X video and burned like 300 calories and YAY ME. *peanuts dance*
So...long story short. I did HALF of a P90X video and burned like 300 calories and YAY ME. *peanuts dance*
Cause Ima Rock Star
Life has changed about nine times since we last spoke. I've been thinking about you a lot since I started back on my journey. I still love Another Success Story but I think when I'm all down and out, I think no one wants to hear what I have to say. (um. I am aware that currently no one reads it anyways....I'm thinking about my imaginary weight loss followers)
I am ROCKIN' it right now and it feels really good. It just feels different. It isn't easier. Nothing has clicked by any means but I haven't stopped and that makes me feel good. I weighed in this morning at 201.2. My weigh in for Weight Watchers is on Tuesday and I would REALLY like to be at 199.99999999. Because I'm so close, it has definitely pushed me to work a little harder. Yesterday, I burned 903 calories. I worked for every calorie and I felt like a hard a** a lot of those minutes.
I have a goal of doing something active each day. I WILL be in touch. I promise. Talk to you soon.
Love,
Just Another One of Those Success Stories.
I am ROCKIN' it right now and it feels really good. It just feels different. It isn't easier. Nothing has clicked by any means but I haven't stopped and that makes me feel good. I weighed in this morning at 201.2. My weigh in for Weight Watchers is on Tuesday and I would REALLY like to be at 199.99999999. Because I'm so close, it has definitely pushed me to work a little harder. Yesterday, I burned 903 calories. I worked for every calorie and I felt like a hard a** a lot of those minutes.
I have a goal of doing something active each day. I WILL be in touch. I promise. Talk to you soon.
Love,
Just Another One of Those Success Stories.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Heavy Again
Today was pretty good. I did not work out, which was planned but diet was pretty on. I had a lot more cravings and some hunger which I think is fine because I've had some lower calorie days. I also had a late start this morning and literally forgot to eat breakfast which threw me off.
Lunch
Salad
-chicken 50
-tomatoes 50
-blue cheese 130
-hard boiled egg 70
Yogurt 90
Snacks
peaches 80
blueberries 50
strawberries 60
hard boiled egg 70
Snacking-cheese 50
Dinner
filet 220
potato 180
sour cream 50
cheese 80
1230
I've fallen in love with the show, Heavy. It was an A&E show and I'm not sure if it is still on but I've discovered it on Netflix. It is people that are much heavier than me, maybe just 50lbs, and it just shows their every emotion through this journey. I love it because it feels like they are the only ones who understand how I feel.
Lunch
Salad
-chicken 50
-tomatoes 50
-blue cheese 130
-hard boiled egg 70
Yogurt 90
Snacks
peaches 80
blueberries 50
strawberries 60
hard boiled egg 70
Snacking-cheese 50
Dinner
filet 220
potato 180
sour cream 50
cheese 80
1230
I've fallen in love with the show, Heavy. It was an A&E show and I'm not sure if it is still on but I've discovered it on Netflix. It is people that are much heavier than me, maybe just 50lbs, and it just shows their every emotion through this journey. I love it because it feels like they are the only ones who understand how I feel.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Heavy
I had a pretty good day. I'm in love with my heart rate monitor. I've burned 890 calories in the past two days! I love that it is a watch dedicated to me!
Today I ate,
Breakfast
hard-boiled egg 70
yogurt 90
Lunch
salad
-greens
-tomatoes 40
-blue cheese 130
-chicken 50
-hard-boiled egg 70
strawberries 50
Snack
peaches 80
Dinner
filet 220
potato 190
cheese 100
sour cream 40
1130
Here's to tomorrow.
Today I ate,
Breakfast
hard-boiled egg 70
yogurt 90
Lunch
salad
-greens
-tomatoes 40
-blue cheese 130
-chicken 50
-hard-boiled egg 70
strawberries 50
Snack
peaches 80
Dinner
filet 220
potato 190
cheese 100
sour cream 40
1130
Here's to tomorrow.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Negative Nellie
Today was a pretty good day!
I did not eat breakfast this morning which was not intentional, I was just running late.
For lunch I had a salad:
lettuce 5
tomatoes 40
blue cheese 130
chicken 50
yogurt 90
for a snack I had cherries 50
for dinner, I had
a filet 220
a frozen potato 190
sour cream 40
cheese 80
green onions 0
Lastly, I had an apple melon 50 ?
strawberries 25
For a total of 980 or so.
I also played around with my heartrate monitor that I got for my birthday. I just wanted to see what it would be like to I walked and did a couple of short jogging intervals. It says that I burned 256 calories in just 25 minutes. That seems a little high to me. I hope that it is acurate. I'm depending on that accuracy to plan.
I've noticed today that I'm so negative. I'm not sure how to change that. When my boyfriend and I tried P90x, I remember just saying over and over that I couldn't do it. It's not so much me needing to trash myself as it is, I want to say it before someone else does.
I'm a teacher and I feel like I'm negative all day long. I don't know how to change that. I feel like they don't listen to me and they talk to much. I feel like all I do is yell. I don't know how to change this yet.
My goals for tomorrow are eat right and take an evening spinning class. I'm excited to see how many calories I'll burn!
I did not eat breakfast this morning which was not intentional, I was just running late.
For lunch I had a salad:
lettuce 5
tomatoes 40
blue cheese 130
chicken 50
yogurt 90
for a snack I had cherries 50
for dinner, I had
a filet 220
a frozen potato 190
sour cream 40
cheese 80
green onions 0
Lastly, I had an apple melon 50 ?
strawberries 25
For a total of 980 or so.
I also played around with my heartrate monitor that I got for my birthday. I just wanted to see what it would be like to I walked and did a couple of short jogging intervals. It says that I burned 256 calories in just 25 minutes. That seems a little high to me. I hope that it is acurate. I'm depending on that accuracy to plan.
I've noticed today that I'm so negative. I'm not sure how to change that. When my boyfriend and I tried P90x, I remember just saying over and over that I couldn't do it. It's not so much me needing to trash myself as it is, I want to say it before someone else does.
I'm a teacher and I feel like I'm negative all day long. I don't know how to change that. I feel like they don't listen to me and they talk to much. I feel like all I do is yell. I don't know how to change this yet.
My goals for tomorrow are eat right and take an evening spinning class. I'm excited to see how many calories I'll burn!
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